Celebrating Five Thousand (and Seven) Posts: Will There Be Cake?

My five thousandth post should be something deep and profound...and have something to do with cake!

This sneaked up on me a little sooner than I thought! The actual 5,000th post was Sic Transit Gloria Americanus?

Happy Third Blogiversary, Proof Positive!

It's that time of year again! The third blogiversary of Proof Positive. A little "inside baseball": This time last year, there were about 2,600 posts , and 37,000 hits from 114 countries around the globe. Nine days after I started, I added the widget from Sitemeter, which started off at about three hits a day (and one of them was me!).

Today, over 4200 posts, with 154,000+ hits from 169 countries, averaging around a three hundred or so hits a day. I'd like to think that some of that growth is because of the content, provided by members of "Team Proof", some because of the "kindness of strangers" linking from some great blogs and some mighty fine looking women, occasionally featured on these pages. (Stacy McCain's Rule Five)

For those of you who visit on a regular basis, I thank you for the time you spend here, whether contemplating the deep mysteries of life or just laughing as we poke fun at the foibles of fools. For those of you who were just suckered in, er, enticed by a headline or photograph, I am grateful to you, too, and hope that once you stumble in here, you stay a while and take a look around.

I ultimately take credit and/or blame for everything that appears here. To make this something you enjoy reading, I first make it something I would. Not everything here is meant to be earth shattering or profound, sometimes it's just funny, or interesting to me. And there's at least some new content everyday for non subscribers. (Subscribers sit with me on the beach, sipping rum drinks at Hanauma Bay. Subscription price To Be Determined.)

It's been a great three years. I have been joined by some outstanding bloggers, to entertain, enlighten and inform you, and I am looking forward to more great things in the coming year, running up to the election in 2012. I propose we take back our country, and do it in style!

Thanks for stopping by. Come again real soon!
-Proof


Second blogiversary posting is here.

A Little Christmas Larceny

Illustration not indicative of story to follow.

A true story of why you should never do business with relatives!

We lived in southern Indiana from when I was eight until I was thirteen. One of those Christmases, closer to eight, I think, my siblings decided to go into the jewelry business. Now, I had sold a lot of stuff door to door during those years for spending money. I sold seeds and greeting cards and mistletoe, and one year I sold handmade jewelry.

My older brother and sister were in charge of production. They assembled ear rings and pendants made from cork balls, with straight pins holding a variety of beads sticking out like porcupine quills, tied with velvet ribbons. The idea was that my brother and sister would make them and then, sit at home in a nice, warm house while I went door to door, in chilly December, to look up with cheeks rosy from the cold at the homeowners and ask them if they wanted to buy some jewelry. (Christmas was coming soon, don'tcha know?)

I don't remember what percentage of the profits they offered me. I don't believe it was an equal share. After all, I was sales, they were management. So I bundled up and and started selling our wares door to door. Early in the endeavor, I got flustered by a question in the middle of my sales pitch and accidentally quoted the wrong price. A higher price. Which the customer paid.

Aha! Our goods are underpriced, I thought to myself. So, the new, higher price became the list price for the rest of the day. And because I was pretty good at math, I was able to calculate the difference between my siblings' asking price and the actual retail prices. So, when I finally made my way home, that amount found its way into a different pocket, and returning to the warmth of hearth and home, cheerfully gave my siblings what we had "made". They were overjoyed. I had met or exceeded their expectations. They split the money between us and congratulated themselves on having persuaded their little brother to be the one hustling out in the cold. While I, on the other hand, congratulated myself for being the one, hustling out in the cold.

Ah, the sordid tales of wayward youth!

The End of My Academic Career

This post will be autobiographical in part, so all you news junkies feel free to skip over it, if you will. I generally chart the End of My Academic Career to coincide with my family's move to California. I had just concluded the seventh grade in southern Indiana and was doing rather well in school. I was a B+ student, had done well in science and on what passes for a "final exam" in math, I scored a perfect 100%. Didn't miss a single question. (Redundancy is a sort of closed captioning for liberals.)

And with the freshness and naïveté that comes with youth, I expected the next grade would automatically be more challenging and fitted to my learning needs by educational professionals. Welcome to California!

My eighth grade math class in California started out with a proficiency test. The teacher wanted to see how much we knew. I distinctly remember one of the questions on the test, because it was marked "wrong" when I got my test back. Here's the question and the reasoning for my answer:

What is 16 divided by 3?

We hadn't been given any explicit instructions on the test, so I only took it out to two decimals. 16 divided by 3 = 5.33 Right?
The math teacher herself couldn't be expected to grade all those tests. I mean, after all, there must have been thirty of us! So, that was delegated to one of my peers, who was handed an answer sheet, with the instruction to mark as incorrect any answer that didn't match. (The "correct" answer was "five remainder one".) That year, I didn't have any homework that I did not finish in class.

Second was the problem of science class. Here I knew I was in the wrong place. I mentioned to the Powers That Be that I had already taken the science course they appeared to be presenting, the year before. So, there was a question of what to do with me during that period. The second step off my ladder to academic excellence was in their solution: Art class.

Not just any art class, though. I was placed in a "School Service Art" class. In addition to teaching us to draw and paint and sculpt...we decorated the gym for dances. Many an hour while my contemporaries were slaving over their texts, my classmates and I were roaming the halls between our classroom and the gym taking our "school service" to heart! Add to this, the fact that this was the only academic class that combined students from both the eight and ninth grade, and here I was learning the basics of the California school system with a bunch of older kids and, let's face it, one didn't take "School Service Art" if one were on the honors track to Stanford!

I say this, not to lay blame on anyone for what was to become the shipwreck of my serious academic career. The responsibility for that lay squarely upon my young shoulders. Though I had never had my feet so firmly planted on the path of least resistance, I could have brought it to my math teacher's attention that the person grading the tests ought to be at least as smart as the one taking them. But I was "the new kid" in a strange school and trying to fit in. So I did. But, I lost some of that "gung ho" attitude I'd had towards learning.

I think of this experience sometimes when I hear older people defending the public school system. They remember their own experience and being removed from the reality of what it has become, defend what they experienced, as if it were the same thing.
Unfortunately, the schools have deteriorated even from my day, and one could say they were lacking then.

One small instance: My older siblings and I are separated by three and five years. When my sister went to high school, Latin was a required subject. (She also took French.) A couple years and half a continent later, when my brother went to high school, Latin was an elective. By the time I got to high school, it was a rarity. Today, I doubt there are few if any Latin classes in public high schools. And please don't tell me if they are absent from private schools, because I am depressed enough already!

My parents trusted the schools to do the right thing for me and I suppose, I did too. And there were no outward signs that my academic career had been side tracked. I didn't turn out so terribly bad, but I was certainly different than I would have been, had I remained more disciplined in my studies.

No regrets, but I remember when I was a very small child, single digit of age, when I thought to myself that along with above average intelligence came the obligation to do important stuff like cure cancer.
I never did that.

Proof Positive: Rent a Cop!

Sans cool Segway, of course!

As a young man, I worked a variety of jobs before I settled into my current career.
One of them was as a security guard. Although I had received no formal training from them, I was issued a side arm on a couple of assignments. Both, coincidentally, were at sites where there were union problems.

At one site, the picketers engaged me in friendly conversation, another was on the night shift at a hospital ER where there had apparently been some dispute with their union. No picketers were in sight.

I remember showing up at my post at the entrance to the ER, where I was handed a .38 revolver and holster. In all my tenure with the guard company, I never had occasion to draw a weapon, but as the evening wore on, other guards from other posts around the hospital would wander by, and what they all had in common was that none of them were armed! Apparently, I was the first line of defense for any crazed, violent protesters who might take it upon themselves to storm the ER!

I had that job for about three months before the enticements of long, boring evenings and occasionally freezing my tail off succumbed to the allure of academia and a higher degree (at higher degrees) and I went away to college.

A comment on another website brought this recollection to mind. Rather than jack that thread with my reminiscences, I inflicted it on you.

Benign Neglect

I apologize for the light posting. I've been on the road in So Cal the last couple of days, and even neglected to take a copy of the links I've been collecting all last week for the Saturday Linkaround. I promise that I will post the Benign Neglect version of our Saturday Linkaround today, about thirty minutes after I step off the plane...

Who knows? By then I might even have an original thought to share with you?
Ciao.

Welcome to Andrew Roman!

Today marks the first (of many, we hope) contribution from our good friend Andrew Roman. He calls himself a "guest blogger", but I'd like him to feel like he's part of the family...Team Proof for want of a better term.

Check out Andrew's column for a little "inside baseball"...literally!

I'm Baaaaaaack!

Just flew into California tonight (and boy are my arms tired!) Things should be getting back to normal tomorrow. I want to thank Left Coast Rebel for taking up some of the slack and keeping the fixes coming for the political junkies who hang out here.
Although, after seeing that "Naked Cowgirl" photo, I may have to ask for his Secret Decoder Ring back! Heh.

Eye bleach on aisle two!

On a Personal Note

My participation may be a bit light the next couple days as I crisscross the country.
With any luck, LCR and Lady C can help take up some of the slack while I'm on the road.

The key to the liquor cabinet is in the same place I left it last time. You kids be careful while I'm gone! Heh.

Site Announcement: Yet Another Member of "Team Proof"

We are joined today by the lovely and gracious Lady Cincinnatus, who will be contributing regularly, or whenever she darn well pleases! Heh. Please give her a warm welcome to the family!

Come for the Babes, Stay for the Snarky Goodness!

Not a video link. Ignore the arrow! Heh.

Welcome to all of you who have recently discovered "Proof Positive"! It's going to be a slow news cycle this weekend. All of the bombshells were unloaded Friday, hoping they'd be forgotten or "old news" by resumption of business on Tuesday, so I thought I'd do a little "inside baseball" here.
We recently got a little spike in traffic here. Okay, we got a substantial spike in traffic, due to one link from Roger Kimball of Pajamas Media, henceforth know as the "Patron Saint" of Proof Positive. Heh.
And the amazing, and pleasantly surprising thing to me, was not that a big dog like Pajamas Media can throw you a link and you get a lot of traffic, but the number of people who came back afterward because they liked what they saw. (Or enjoy laughing at our feeble efforts? But, anyway, you're back!)
The increase of traffic that is not directly from that link is substantial. (And you know who you are!)

Which, in a roundabout way, brings us to the babes! One of the purposes of posting pictures of the pretty ladies, aside from their obvious aesthetic qualities, is that they attract readers. And once attracted, many of them come back. Robert Stacy McCain codified this in his famous Rule Five of "How to Get a Million Hits on Your Blog in Less Than a Year" back in 2009. But, I knew the principle before Stacy wrote about it because it worked for me (The principle, not the Million Hits!)
The first political blog I ever read was NRO's "The Corner". I used to devour it, every post. I learned a lot from The Corner. Then, one day in 2008, as I recall, Jonah Goldberg made some reference to a blog in North Dakota, of all places, complete with a link. It was Say Anything.
At the time, Rob Port, in addition to the political stuff, was running a feature he called "Friday Night Babe". (So ladies, if you think the "babe" appellation is sexist somehow, blame Rob!) I don't remember if Jonah linked to the "babe" or just to another story on a Friday night, but I bookmarked the spot and sometimes, even on a Friday night, I'd come back.
What I found, alongside the pretty girl, was lively and insightful commentary on the issues of the day. And liberals futilely arguing their talking points, like fish in a barrel. I was hooked. I made my first comments on a political blog there*. Shortly after, I was posting an occasional guest post in Rob's Reader Blogs. Before long I was a regular contributor...and it all started with one link, aided and abetted by a pretty girl's picture, and I stayed for the snarky goodness!

I first got into the "babe" business by resuscitating Rob's feature. He'd started it as a bachelor, and after he got married, the ring through his nose, er, around his finger, cut off his circulation. I picked up the standard and have been carrying it ever since. (I kid, Mrs. Rob! I'm a kidder!)

But, whether you first stopped to admire the pulchritude, or see a video or read the commentary, we appreciate you stopping by. And be honest now! How many of you started reading this because you saw the picture of Audina above?
Some of you were even hoping I might even let her phone number slip! It's right here in my Rolodex...it's (562) 555-....

*And because so many of the commenters there shared my first name, I picked a pseudonym, a nom de cyber, if you will, later shortened to "Proof". I picked it to stand out from the crowd, so that anything I wrote, would be clearly attributed to me and the wackadoodle things said by others, would not. Who knew I'd be doing this after all these years? So, for the time being, I'm "Proof". Just as soon as I become a household name, I will make the transition to my real name, like Datsun becoming Nissan. Until then, bear with me! Thanks!

More Proof or Just More Positive?

Well, maybe not angry. And maybe not all men!

I started Proof Positive as a solo blog, a place where I could say anything I wanted because I was sleeping with the editor...scratch that! ...because I was the editor. And, although nothing has been set in concrete, it now looks as though that might change, hopefully for the better.

I've sent out invitations to a couple of like minded bloggers to join Team Proof and I may be reciprocating with a few guest posts on their blogs. This could be like the blogging equivalent of Manifest Destiny. Or not.

Anyway, if we can work out the logistics, we'll bring you a little more variety and perhaps a little more content for those times when work (or life) gets in the way of blogging! Don't worry! I'll still be the Alpha Dog here.

As they say in the funny papers:

Change in Comment Moderation

Even though I try to get comments up ASAP, there are times when we could be missing some interaction with other commenters. Plus, everyone has been unusually civil with only a smattering of spam, so I'm going to try opening up the comments without moderation.

If a bunch of offensive, foul mouthed trolls show up (but then, I repeat myself) that may be subject to change. I will bring the troll hammer down on any that slip through, but for now, we'll try a little experiment in open comments. Let me know what you think.

Why You Never Want to Watch TV or Movies With Me

It’s the little things that bug me! I was watching TV this weekend. More than usual. I’ve been doing a little remodeling, and after downing 600mg. of generic Ibuprofen, I settled down to listen to my bones calcify and turn on the TV. And, IMHO, there’s nothing on. At least nothing that I might really enjoy watching. But, my kids and I have this rating system, and one of the ratings is “A movie I would watch only if I were in a full body cast and couldn’t reach the remote”. This one may qualify…

I’d never seen Robocop III. I liked Robocop, but the sequel, II, was pretty bad. I wasn’t even aware that they’d made a third one. Peter Weller was missing from the cast. I thought the fact that he had to go through pretty much the entire first movie with just his mouth and jaw showing to convey emotion was pretty cool.

Anyway, they get some Peter Weller lookalike to reprise the role. Plot spoiler alert: Towards the end of the movie, he flies. That’s different. But, unfortunately, the point in the movie that really caught my attention was a couple of boneheaded mistakes by the writers/director. According to the story, Robocop is more machine than man. He is heavily armored to withstand bullets, mortars and rocket fire. At one point in the movie, he is doused with gasoline and set on fire. Why this didn’t burn his unarmored face off, I’m really not quite sure! (See what I mean?)

Then Robocop is down in some sewer helping his friends escape the evil bad guys, and he’s running out of energy. He collapses. Great! How are they going to get this heavily armored piece of machinery out of there? He must weigh a ton! No problem! Two guys, a woman and a little girl pick him up and carry him into an adjoining space. Actually, the little girl was more hanging on him than carrying him. Now, that might work if Robocop was merely an actor in a plastic costume, but these people didn’t even pretend to break a sweat. There went what little suspension of disbelief there was for me!

And then, there was this episode of Law and Order (I think). I stopped watching L&O when it became more of a platform for every liberal cause célèbre than for entertainment. At the beginning of the episode, we see a body. Some SYT (sweet young thing) lies on the floor and pretends to be dead. No big deal. SYTs do it all the time looking for their big show biz break! Now, I’m not sure if this particular SYT fell asleep while waiting for her close up, but you can see this twitching around her eyelids. A second close up confirmed that this corpse definitely had Rapid Eye Movement! What was she thinking?

I must confess, that spotting continuity glitches and the like are sometimes more entertaining than the shows themselves. I saw one movie where the bad guy holding and firing a gun was alternately holding a revolver or a semiautomatic pistol from one moment to the next. I like looking for car chases where a car loses a hubcap or a side mirror which miraculously reattaches itself in the next shot. Or the good guy that takes a bullet through the thigh or shoulder who is sprinting and wrestling the bad guy mere hours later. And whenever I see a scene where a car is making or about to make some dramatic turn, I look to see if there are already skid marks on the street where it was done in earlier takes or rehearsal. This also works in Westerns, where if you can sometimes see wagon tracks or hoof prints where supposedly no one had gone before.

In that respect, my TV viewing did not disappoint me, and full disclosure, I generally multitask, watching the TV next to my computer, so my time is not entirely wasted. Well, on TV anyway!