Drugs: The Gift That Keeps on Giving!

Heard this on the radio the other day.

LINCOLN, Neb.- The Nebraska State Patrol says 15 1/2 pounds of pot was found gift-wrapped following a traffic stop on Interstate 80 in Lincoln.

...a trooper pulled over an eastbound car for speeding near the Lincoln Airport exit on Wednesday afternoon. A patrol dog taken to the scene alerted officers to drugs in the rear of the car.

The patrol said troopers then found the marijuana and a half pound of hashish...in two gift-wrapped boxes.

Troopers arrested the driver, 52-year-old Edwin Yearout, of Sacramento, Calif.

Stupid crooks! Ya gotta love 'em! No entrance exams or IQ tests for the School of Hard Knocks. These "gifts" ought to give him what? Five to ten?

White Latex Paint Vs. Taser - Crook* Loses

Red, white and blue latex - Not our crook!

I saw this in today's local dead tree paper. In the stupid crook department, a man from Cheyenne Wyoming covered himself with white latex paint in hopes of avoiding a police Taser. Police stunned him anyway!

September 16th, the Cheyenne police were called to Brian Mattert's house because of domestic violence. When police arrived, according to the Wyoming Tribune Eagle, this genius Mattert thought he'd be Tased, so he covered himself in white paint and told the police that if they shot him, he'd die.

The Taser performed as advertised...twice! And what Wyatt Earp over at Support You Local Gunfighter calls "God's Joy Buzzer" got the job done. Other than getting white latex paint on the officers, there were no serious ramifications, other than this moron spending time in the Graybar Hotel covered in paint!

Don't tase me, bro, indeed!

Update: From the Wyoming Tribune Eagle:

According to the police report, Mattert, 34, became defiant and uncooperative.

The officers continued to demand his surrender and explained that the paint would not affect a Taser's capability nor would it cause his death if used.

After some time, the officers were able to get Mattert into his back yard. He tried to pull away and was subsequently shocked with a Taser.

As he lay in a fetal position on the grass, Mattert refused to give up his hand so he could be placed in cuffs. So he was shocked again, and the officers were able to detain him.

*Closed Captioning for the Humor Impaired: Technically he's a perp, not a crook.

Cross posted at Left Coast Rebel, Say Anything

Tiger Cub Smuggled in Luggage

Remember those questions the TSA types used to ask you at the airport as to whether you packed your own bags, did someone give you something to carry?

As I recall, there was one question they used to ask which was tantamount to asking you if you'd seen anyone tampering with your luggage while you weren't looking!

This story has a little of that element in it. From the UK Daily Mail:

At first glance it looked to airport officials like just another stuffed toy in a suitcase. But on closer inspection, the tiny tiger cub was found to be real and alive but unconscious after it was drugged.

Shocked police then arrested the woman owner of the luggage at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Thailand where she was allegedly planning to smuggle the three-month-old animal to Iran.

It must have crawled into my suitcase! Honest!!!

The woman, identified as Thai national Piyawan Palasarn, 31, faces up to four years in prison and a 40,000 baht (£824) fine for two wildlife smuggling-related charges, police said.

She denied the luggage with the cub belonged to her and said another passenger had asked her to carry it for them, said Adisorn Noochdumrong, head of an international wildlife division at the conservation center.

The cub could have fetched about 100,000 baht (£2,060) on the black market in Iran, where it is popular to have exotic pets, Adisorn said. ($3195 USD)

Gee. There's a luggage check tag and lots of clothing and personal property associated along with that suitcase.

"If the jeans fit, you cannot acquit!" Heh.

Update: This story could give new meaning to the phrase "snarled" in airport traffic!

More at Left Coast Rebel

Don't Leave Home Without It!

Not Rosie O'Donnell!

There's no IQ requirement to attend stupid crook school!

There's a first-floor apartment in the Armour Square neighborhood where actor Ben Stiller lived. Then David Duchovny moved in, as did Oscar-winning director Paul Haggis.

Well, maybe they didn't live there, but that's where their credit cards were being sent.

With the same imagination that ACORN gathers voter registrations, a Nigerian born chap was committing credit card fraud with famous people's names.

Ben Stiller? Why not Rosie O' Donnell?

...Now this week Adedamola Olatunji, 29, a Nigerian-born man who allegedly used Stiller's card to run up charges on iTunes and an on-line dating service, was indicted on forgery, mail fraud, theft, aggravated identity theft, computer fraud and other felony charges.

On line dating? Wonder which name he used there??? Or did no one think to ask why "Ben Stiller" might be paying for Adedamola Olatunji's one shot at true happiness?

But it gets even stranger! According to a "source familiar with the investigation":

After obtaining personal information on the victims, Olatunji allegedly called the bank to report a lost card and requested a new one be sent to the Princeton Avenue address. The source said investigators recovered personal information for Stiller and Haggis in the trash at Olatunji's residence..."Obviously, the bank has some issues they've got to straighten out," the source said. "The guy calls up with a foreign accent and says: 'Hey, I'm Ben Stiller, I lost my card. Can you send me a new one?' Oh. Sure, why not?"

Like I said, he should have used Rosie! Heh.

H/T Daily Caller