"Why Sex With Creatures from the Future Is a Bad Idea"

On the other hand, "time-traveling brine shrimp" would be a great name for a rock band!


ménage à trawler

When time travel finally becomes possible, we might want to think twice about getting it on. According to a new study on tiny shrimp (Artemia franciscana), sex with partners from a different time could kill you.
Researchers at the Center for Functional and Evolutionary Ecology (CEFE) in Montpellier, France, collected preserved brine shrimp eggs from various generations, and then reanimated them with water. Nicolas Rode and colleagues mated pairs of brine shrimp that had been reanimated from eggs preserved since 1985, 1996 and 2007, a period representing roughly 160 generations. They found that females that mated with males from the past or future died off sooner than those that mated with their own generation. The longer the time-shift, the earlier they died: The 22-year time difference shortened female lifetimes by 12 percent; the effect was 3 percent for the 11-year time-shift.

This research was done in France? If they want to experiment with sex, how about "dinner and a movie"?

...females that mated with males from the past or future died off sooner than those that mated with their own generation.

Sounds like the punchline to an old joke. Zebadiah was 96 and about to marry a 16 year old girl. "Aren't you worried about that kind of exertion might bring about death?" asked his friends.

"Nah," said Zebadiah. "If she dies, she dies."

H/T Memeorandum

Abercrombie: Push Up Bra Swimsuits for Seven Year Olds

Sigh. Every time you think the culture has hit rock bottom, someone starts digging again!



Seven years old is not the time for any child to be thinking about sexuality. Seven is a time for Dora the Explorer, not Debbie Does Dallas. What possible benefit could a seven year old girl have in being found more sexually attractive to either men and boys who are ready to act on such urges, or even to those who do not?

Gail Dines, a sociology professor at Wheelock College in Boston, similarly slammed the top, saying it would encourage girls to think about themselves in a sexual way before they are ready.

"It (also) sends out really bad signals to adult men about young girls being appropriate sexual objects,"

Children grow up fast enough. There's no need to steal their childhood and innocence from them at that age. And any mothers vainly trying to relive their lost glory through their too, too young daughters, should seek counseling, not push up bras for little girls.

Your Rule Five Dentist of the Day

I can remember when they just gave you a lollipop!


Dr. Klarkowski and staff

Dr Marie-Catherine Klarkowski said: ‘The most important thing is to take away patients’ fear. The sight of cleavages gets patients narcotised and distracted from the pain rather quickly.

‘Some patients’ mouths are already wide open on entering the practice.’

It is unclear if the patients feel less pain but the number of clients going to the Relax & Smile practice in Munich has risen by a third since the change. Yes, they are all men.

Dr Klarkowski came up with the fleshy idea at an Oktoberfest event after seeing how men ogled waitresses in their traditionally revealing ‘dirndl’ outfits.

"Open wide...your mouth, not your eyes!"

The change has also seen the practice turned into an ‘Alpine lounge’ with open fireplace, deer antlers on the wall and wooden benches for patients.

‘The competition doesn’t sleep. I know colleagues who have decorated their whole practice with Mickey Mouse and one even in Star Trek style,’ added the 41-year-old. And the nurses say the £430 costumes do it for them, too.

£430? That's $680 American. As the Texas oil man said, "Go ahead and drill doc, I'm feeling lucky!"







H/T Memeorandum

Surgically Enhanced Breasts: "As Erotic as a Plastic Chair"

One Brit's take on surgically enhanced breasts.

I have encountered artificial breasts only once — and believe me, that was enough.

‘Sophie’ worked in publishing and was very beautiful and very brainy. But, as I discovered when we became intimate, she was also a faker.

‘Don’t you like them?’ she asked.

‘Of course I do,’ I lied, not wishing to hurt her feelings.

In fact, they were about as erotic as a plastic chair.

If only women realized what a waste of time and money such operations are. Have we men made you so insecure that you think the quickest way to our hearts is through a big chest? The truth is that most men are happier with the real thing — no matter what a woman’s natural size.

I tend to agree. I have one friend from high school, who occasionally emails me photos of women in various stage of undress. Breasts the size of volleyballs (or basketballs) appended to one's chest tend to look make one look more freakish than sexy, IMHO.

Spring for the sexy lingerie* instead of surgery, ladies! Gents? 'Tis the season!

*Not a paid endorsement by Victoria's Secret or anyone else... darn it!

Katy Perry Does Elmo, er, Sesame Street

Some folks found this video too objectionable for Sesame Street. Aside from the little, naked red pervert running around and maybe looking up her dress, there may have been a wee bit too much cleavage for the Cleavers!

Update: Would that make her a Sesame Streetwalker? Heh.

Crazed Sex Poodle-in-Chief Redux

Instapundit points to a piece at The Stir on the Crazed Sex Poodle in Chief, Al Gore.

There is a hint of an implication that the big oaf Al is not the babe magnet that could score with Laurie David, keep the little woman at home happy and still have time to fool around with the hired help. They, however, are not taking into consideration the awesomeness that is Hollywood Al Gore!

Assistant Principal Flashes Fourteen Year Old

TAMPA - Hillsborough County assistant principal Lauren Tilo, 30, walked out of the Hillsborough County Jail, silent.

She's accused of sending a provocative photo of herself to a 14-year-old boy.

Manatee County deputies say they learned about this when the victim, who lives in that county, told his guidance counselor at school.

Tilo is an assistant principal at Middleton High School in Tampa.

Investigators say Tilo and the victim met in an internet-based game called World of War Craft, a role playing game where users become characters.

Deputies say the two were friends at first and then began sending sexual text messages back and forth.

On May 7th, deputies say Tilo took of a photo of herself, with her breast exposed, and sent it to the teen.

Many students at Middleton High School are stunned.

Stunned? Me too! Did you see her? I didn't know they made web cams with wide angle lenses!

H/T Daily Caller

Sex Can Be Dangerous- If You're Doing it Right!

Jamie Jeffords' account of Klingon mating rituals reminded me of a joke for some reason. I heard this joke many years ago, which was supposed to illustrate the urbanity of the French and their mores:

Three French boys, 8, 11, and 14 were walking through a park, when they come across a couple making love off to the side of the path.

“Look!” said the 8 year old, “That couple is fighting!”
“No,” said the 11 year old, “they are making love!”
“Oui. And badly” said the 14 year old.

Blow Up over Sex Dolls

Gentlemen prefer blondes. I prefer someone who can fog a mirror!

In the running for the strangest story out of southern California lately:

A Valley Center man must pay nearly $300,000 to his former employer after breaking away to start his own love-doll company, a Vista Superior Court jury decided Wednesday.

A stiff penalty! Hmm. Wonder if he had an inflated view of his worth to the company?

I wonder if they make a shorter model for diminutive men? As in "Put another Barbie™ on the shrimp"?

Jurors got a good laugh out of Yvette and two other dolls that joined them in the jury room during deliberations.

Joined them??? Next ACORN will register them to vote!!! Heh.

H/T Daily Caller