Every connoisseur of the female form is going to post photos of Scarlett Johansson in order to capitalize on nude photos from her hacked cellphone earlier. I will not post those here, since I like to keep the Eye family friendly, even though I do descend into dysfunction family friendly quite often. For the record, I have seen the photos, they are real, and they are spectacular. Bottticelli buttocks on that girl, folks. But the whole situation leads me to ask two important questions. One, why is Scarlett Johansson taking naked photos of herself if she does not want people to see them? Granted, they might have been meant for her latest fellow, whoever he may be. I lost track after Sean Penn. But is it really wise to take the risk of losing your cell phone or getting hacked, particularly for a celebrity constantly under the threat of being stalked by paparazzi and crazed fans alike? This strikes me as either an incredibly dumb mistake on Johansson’s part, or the most prurient publicity stunt since Paris Hilton made a sex tape. I want to give Johansson the benefit of the doubt and say she is dumb here--the kindest thing I can say--and hope she has not stooped to Hilton’s level of attention whoring.
Two, why is the FBI involved? Hacking is a federal crime that is supposed to be reported to one’s local FBI office, but does it not feel like they ought to have better things to do right now than hunt done the pervert who stole naked photos of Scarlett Johansson? Are there no terrorists ought there any longer? We are running the risk of being overwhelmed by terrorists when you consider the dedication FBI field agents must have when assigned to find nude photos of Johansson.
Speaking of FBI agents:
I have to throw something else in here to separate this post from every other Johansson write up out there, if only marginally relevant. Gillian Anderson is still hot long after her days as Dana Scully. In all seriousness, Johansson is threatening legal action to sites hosting the photos, and those threats are working. The photos are quickly disappearing from all but the underbelly of the internet. I am also a free spirited , whatever floats your boat kind of guy. If Johansson gets her jollies posing naked for cellphone photos, more power to her. But this needs to be a lesson to anyone who thinks what they do in private is always going to stay that way. Sometimes, it is going to blow up in your face instead. Always be careful, even when other people are not watching.
(Part of The Other McCain's Rule 5 Sunday.)
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