"Topless Woman Masturbating In Van Arrested On Gun Charge"

er, you couldn't find anything with batteries??


Why is this woman smiling?

A topless woman who was masturbating in a hotel parking lot is facing a weapons charge after Illinois cops investigating her auto eroticism discovered a loaded pistol in her vehicle.

A Naperville cop responding to an unrelated call spotted Vikki Myers, 44, in a van outside the Red Roof Inn. After initially claiming that she was changing clothes, Myers admitted to pleasuring herself in the vehicle, according to police.

'Tis the season?? Red Roof's slogan used to be "Sleep Cheap". Now I think it's "We'll keep the light off for you"!

...In addition to copping to the vehicular masturbation, Myers told cops that that there was a loaded 9mm Sig Sauer handgun in the car, a weapon for which she did not have a state-issued Firearm Owners Identification card. Myers, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with unlawful possession of a firearm.